"The Anti-Social Network"

Villain: Yes! My masterpiece is finally complete! And now, to build Mandy up to the highest popularity. Ooohwahahahahahaha

(The Anti-social Network)

Sammy: Think I’ll take intro journalism, journalism basics and snooping 101. You know, to appeal to my totally inquisitive side.

Alex: Great idea, Sammy. Now, what class should I sign up for?

Sammy: Well, what do you wanna be when you grow up, Alex?

Alex: Hmm…Maybe a veterinarian, or an animal psychologist, or a pony.

Clover: Oooh OMG girls! I have the most amazing news ever! I totally just signed us for a fashion design class together. Can you like, even believe it? Lalala

Sammy: Em…Not really, Clover. I mean, fashion design’s kinda your thing.

Clover: Trust me, girls. It’ll be a majorly awesome way to spend more time together. And it’ll be way fun! Group hug!

Mandy: Men and losers all keep off! The Mandy Train is comin’ ther-ah!

Clover: Whatever, Mandy. Since when do we take orders from you?

Mandy: Since I’ve officially decided to major in being famous for being famous! And I’ll simply be the most influential person on the puh-lanet!

My intern, Trent, is marketing me on all platforms of media for the utmost exposed celebrity. Isn’t that right, Trent?

Trent: Uh, everything you say is right, Mandy.

Mandy: Good answer! Now outta my way, losers!

Alex: Uh oh! Will the new student here not build a Southern California earthquake codes?

Sammy: Uh I think it’s a disturbance of a different kind. A WOOHP quake!

Mandy: Now that those freaks are gone, let’s hear what you’ve been working on to help me achieve fame and fortune without actually doing anything.

Trent: Well, for starters, I’ve been updating your website.

Mandy: Eeew! Those pictures here are totally dated! They were for over three days ago!

Trent: Sorry, Mandy. This is an internship.

Mandy: Uh! This lame website isn’t gonna cut it. I need something big, something animated, something new! (Phone rings)

If you are ready to experience the thrill of Mandybook, click here. No way! It’s an entire social network website dedicated to me! Guess it must’ve been created by one of my many admirers.

Villain: Hahahah!

Mandy: Now hit that gas!

Villain: Oh believe me, Mandy. Mandybook will take you to places you’ve never dreamed of!! Hahahaha!!

Alex: Jerry? Are you in here?

Sammy: I don’t see him.

Jerry: Not so fast, ladies. I’m testing out the new chip or CHIP, WOOHP’s new compressed inner helium inhalation prototype, that allows its user to float about like a balloon. Unfortunately, I haven’t figured out how to stop it from making my voice so high-pitched. As far as the attire, I’ve just returned from holiday. Alo-ha!

And now for the reason you’re here.

WOOHP sends us a pic of a very strange frequency coming from somewhere around your campus.

Sammy: What kind of frequency?

Jerry: I’m not certain. But because it using brain-wave technology I’ve never seen before, I’d like you to investigate on the double.

Alex: Then, what are we waiting for? Bring on the gadgets.

Jerry: Very well, then. First, we have your new compowders, now with DNA recognition, hands-free capabilities which literally allow the devices to float beside you if you happen to be tied up by a villain, multiple datter window projection function and the shiny skin detector.

Clover: You mean like we’re detecting a slimy bad guy with creepy tentacles or something?

Jerry: No, for detecting when your faces get extra sweaty on mission. In the unfortunate event of breakthrough shine, the compowder will beep, allowing you to apply a fresh coat of powder.

Spies: Awesome!

Jerry: Next, we have the brace for it bracelet that tightens around the wrist when picking up strange (amplitude?), WOOHP speeders, the cutting edge impersonal transport devices, and finally the incendiary earrings.

Clover: Who-a, Jer. These are mega-hot!

Jerry: More so than you know, Clover. When tossed, they produce intense heat capable of incinerating whatever they touch.

Alex: Awesome!

Jerry: Now Goodbye, spies, and good luck!

Alex: Now this is what I call cool!

Clover: Are you kidding me? If any of these guys see me riding this geeky thing, I’ll totally freak! And if this WOOHP speeder thing isn’t annoying enough, my wrist seriously hurts!

Alex: That’s because the gadget Jer gave you is picking up a frequency.

Clover: Guess now I knew why he named the ‘ brace for it’ in the bracelet. You have to brace yourself for the pain!

Sammy: Come on, spies! I think we’ve reached our target.

So what do you think? Should we climb the trellis and head for the roof?

Alex: Oh puh-lease. Climbing is old school.

Sammy: ‘Kay. Looks like the chim is our best way inside.

Alex: Good thing we haven’t eaten lunch yet. It’s gonna be a tight fit!

Sammy: Whoa check it out. S’all sorts of high-tech in here

Clover: And all sorts of cluttered.

Alex: ‘S not all high-tech. This toothbrush looks perfectly ordinary.

Toothbrush: I am a doofanator. For deep cleaning, press 1. For bad breath detection, press 2.

Alex: Okay, looks can be deceiving.

Clover: Oww. The braceward bracelet’s picking up that frequency again.

Alex: I think it’s coming from that computer over there.

Sammy: Time for a little recon.

Clover: Ugh! So much for being stealthy!

Alex: Girls! I think we’re on the least of our problems.

Oh no!


Clover: Okay, most obnoxious house ever!

Sammy: More like strangest mission ever? A hostile house with aggressive appliances? What gives?

Jerry: Girls, mission update?

Sam: Jer, perfect timing. We need WOOHP to analyze this crazy high-tech toothbrush Alex found.

Jerry: Not a problem. Oh and girls, you have your fashion design class in five minutes. Tata!

Alex: Uh, you’re welcome, Mr.Crabby.

And now, for a wardrobe change. After all we gotta show up to class looking ab-fab!

Clover: Yes! Fashion victory!

Villain: Hahahaha

Alex: Win the ‘nana smoothie, please.

Clover: Alex, what are you doing? We’re running late?

Alex: Oopsie

Sam: Uh guys, are you noticing what I’m noticing?

Clover: Better outfits are radiating with impeccable taste? Yes, I did notice.

Sam: No, that every single student on campus is looking at their smartphones and

tablet computers.

Clover: Hey!

Alex: Uh, man. There goes lunch.

Sam: Shh. Guys, listen.

Girl 1: Did you read the post about how Mandy donated her old water ski to the relief.

Girl 2: Totally, she’s so giving.

Girl 1: I know, I’m just glad we have Mandybook to keep us up to date on her awesomeness.

Spies: Mandybook?

(People with Mandy icons on their backs passes by. Mandy’s sculpture is erected later.)

~Spies Gasp~

Clover: Okay. What is going on?

Mandy: What is going on is that thanks to my new social networking site, Mandybook. I now have over one hundred thousand followers. Trent! You really should throw me a party to celebrate. Why haven’t you losers joined yet? Oh that’s right. Because you’re always riding a kaboose on every awesome trend. Let’s roll, Trent. I can’t dare to be seen with these popularity killers.

Sam: I can’t believe it, Mandy’s actually becoming……famous.

Alex: And all this time, I thought Mali U students’ had good taste.

Clover: Uh oh, we’re late for class.

Villain: And now that I’ve built her up, it’s time to watch Mandy fall. Hahaha!!

Instructor: tight, people. Faster! Fashion doesn’t create itself. More sweat, more tears! Ooh, less ventax.

Clover: Isn’t this the best idea ever? I’m loving in class with you guys.

Sam: Yeah…Phew…

Instructor: Yes um, I’ve just got feelings this fashion disaster isn’t making. I’m feeling a do-over.

Clover: A do-over? And I’m Clover!

Instructor: (To Sam) Wait-a-what-a-non-fashion fashion-look, Alex. Tres chupe!

Instructor: (To Alex) Love the sleeve stain, Sam. It’s a bold statement. like that will take you far into fashion biz.

Instructor: Ok, c’est ca that for today. I’ll see you all tomorrow.

Clover: (Drum roll) (Crying) Professor Punkin totally hates me. He didn’t even get my name right.

Alex: Oh, no, he doesn’t, Sam. Uh, I mean Clover.

Clover: I hope you guys are right. In any case, you’re the best friends ever.

Girl 3: Did you read the latest post on Mandybook? She started charging for autographs.

Girl 4: She won’t even shake hands unless she’s wearing designer gloves.

Alex: Wow, sounds like Mandy’s followers are kinda mad at her.

Sam: They seem more than that. They totally turned against her.

(Boys growling and breaking their cell phones.)

Clover: Awesome. Now that things are getting juicy on Mandybook, I’m gonna sign up just to get the dish.

Whoa. Check out this tragedy.

Mandy: Make way, followers. The princess of popularity is coming through.

Angry crowd: There she is. Get her.

Mandy: Hey! Take it easy! Stay back! I am a icon! I deserve a spect! Ahh!!

Stay away of off me!!

Sam: ‘Kay. That seems like a pretty extreme reaction.

Alex: Totally! We better go help her before the crowd mulls her.

Clover: Ouch! And before this bracelet gets any tighter, I’m not sure why, but it must be picking that frequency again.

Mandy: Those people are crazy stuthers.

Ow! Why are the best hiding places always the nastiest?

Mandy: Ouch! I should’ve known you guys were behind all of this. You are the ones who made my followers revolt. You and your……freaky outfits!

Clover: (Laughing at her cellphone behind the other spies.) Hahaha!

Sam: (Shoving Clover to a room.) Mandy, we have nothing to do with what’s going on.

Alex: (Compowder beeps) It’s Jerry! Excuse us, for just one minute.

Jerry: Girls, I’ve just gotten a DNA result back from a toothbrush. Seems it belongs to a Telly Hardwire. Good luck!

Sam: Telly Hardwire. Wasn’t he the president of the computer club in Beverly High?

Alex: Mandy, have you ever heard of Telly Hardwire?

Mandy: Telly who?

Villain: You probably would know my name if you bother to cyber-friend me when I sent you a friend request in high school.

Sam: Telly?

Villain: That’s right. And I’m here to take Mandy down in flames. As revenge for dissing me and thinking she’s better than everyone else.

Mandy: Seriously, dude. That is so pathetic.

Villain: People like you don’t get that it’s geeks like me who create the social networks you enjoy.

Mandy: Egg-zactly. Like I said, get over it.

Villain: Oh, I AM getting over it. Hff!

Mandy: Whatever. This is just a little bump in the highway on my road to mega stardom.

Sam: Here they come again, and they don’t look like they’re on your side, Mandy.

Mandy: Ahh!!

Villains: I’ve integrated a mind-control brainwave frequency in Mandybook that not only hooks your followers on the site, but also makes them want to tape you down. And since it’s working so well, after you’re eliminated, I’m going after everyone in the world who ever rejected one of my online friend requests. Hff!

Alex: This guy has lost it!

Sam: Clover, keep them at bay.

Sam: Alex! We need to get Mandy out of here!

Clover: Let’s get her, everyone!

Alex: Clover?

Sam: Look at her eyes! Telly’s frequency must have affected her!

Sam: Chips up, Alex!

Mandy: Huh?

Mandy: Ahh!!

(Sees Trent) Trent! I am so happy to see you! There’s this whapped up…)

Trent: She’s over here!

Mandy: You traitor! You’re so fired!

Sam: Mandy, hurry up! Get in!

Look out!

Alex: Hang on, guys. I’m not so good at driving one of these things.

Clover: Haul over, and give us Mandy!

Sam: Alex, head toward the house where the frequency’s coming from.

Alex: I’ll try, but Clover’s turned the WHOOP speeder raged.

Let’s call our chips again.

Sam: Look out! Here comes Telly in the mob!

Villain: How fitting that you were taken down by your own fanity.

Mandy: Um, I don’t suppose if I friended you now, you’d call up the mob.

Didn’t think so.

Sam: Alex, hurry. You need to destroy the frequency transmitter.

Alex: I’m on it, Sammy.

Villain: If she gets to the transmitter, she’ll compromise Mandybook. Stop her.

Alex: This is the job for the incendiary earrings.

(To a vacuum like object) Not you again?

Sam: Alex, anytime you get to destroy that frequency, it’d be much appreciated.

Alex: I’m trying!

Sam: Alex!

Alex: All I know is that these things better work!

Clover: Oh…’kay! What happened to my uni? And what am I doing in public looking like this? Uh oh, micro shine alert!

Mandy: You’re still my loyal and devoted followers, though, right?

Oh, they probably lost interest because they saw me hanging out with you!

Trent! You’re rehired, with a lot of work to do rebuilding my popularity.

Trent: Whatever you say, Mandy.

Alex: Not so fast, Telly. You’ve got a date with WHOOP prison!

Villain: Let me go, I’m warning you. I’ll ruin your popularity. I CAN DO IT!!

Jerry: I’ll take it from here, girls. Excellent work.

Villain: Hff.

Sam: Uh Jer, someone might need to have today’s events removed from her memory, if you know what I mean.

Mandy: Hey! What are you doing? Let me go! Do you know who I am? I am famous! I have a hundred thousand followers.

Clover: More like ‘had’ a hundred thousand followers.

Sam: Well, girls, I say we definitely started this semester with a bang.

Alex: Heck yeah! I mean, could things get any more exciting?

Clover: I’m just glad everything worked out for the best. And I’m still bummed that Professor Punkin doesn’t like my fashion sense.

Instructor: Now that is what I called fierce! I mean how many girls would dare a cinched catsuit, bird’s nest hair look after labor day? I love it! Hep-la, Alex!

Clover: OMG! This is gonna be the best school year ever! Only he could get my name right!

"Nine Lives"

Sam: Ow! Clover, what are you doing?

Clover: Oh, nothing. Just your earlobe.

Sam: My earlobe? But what for?

Clover: ‘Cause my mom’s coming to visit today and I need to be prepared!

Alex: Prepared for what, exactly?

Clover: For the fact that she’s a way successful earlobe contouring surgeon who thinks I’m following in her footstep. If she finds out I’m a fashion design major she’s gonna be all sorts of disappointed. So I’ve decided to do all I can to convince her that I’m pre-med, instead of pre-thread.

Sam: History of the earlobe volume one. Are you seriously reading this?

Clover: I’m trying!

Clover’s mom: Clover! Surprise!

Clover: Mom! You’re here!

Clover’s mom: Oh, my morning loan me to her schedule, which means I have even more time to spend with my little surgeon in training and, of course, her best friends!

Alex: Oh, okay, well, I wish I could hang, but it’s my first day volunteering at the campus cat lab, and I can’t be late!

Sam: And I’m on my way out for a jog. See ya!

Alex: This is it, the animal lovers’ mothership. Hello, veterinary studies building.

Awesome! ‘S gonna be the best volunteer job ever!

Villain: You must be Alex. I’m professor Dion. Feline Dion. It sounds like you’re as

excited about cats as I am.

Alex: Are you kidding? Cats are like, the cutest things ever! I mean besides those fur boots you’re wearing.

Villain: Thank you. And thank you for your enthusiasm about felines. As far as I’m concerned, cats are the most amazing, intelligent, glorious creatures on the entire planet. I only wish we humans could be more like them.

Alex: Um, yeah, like I said they’re cute, and I’ll take really good care of them, I promise.

Villain: Excellent. Now if you excuse me, I’ve got a few errands to run. I’ll see you later.

Alex: Well, guess that leaves me and the kitties. So, what should I do first. Groom you, feed you, clean your cages……uh wait! One at a time. You’re not following what you’re saying. Somebody help!

Clover’s mom: So Clover, tell me how were your classes going?

Clover: They are going great, I mean, pre-med is like so……magicational, you know?

So how about I fetch you some coffee after that early morning surgery ses, you must be white. I’m gonna be back in a sec.

Clover’s mom: Clover!

Clover: Yes! Safe by the bell. I mean the WHOOP.

Sam: Hey! Let me out of here!

Whoa! Thanks girls.

Jerry: Hello, ladies. Would you care for a cold beverage?

Clover: Jerry?

Jerry: In the flesh. Brava flesh, that is.

I’m en route to an annual WHOOP spy-guise convention, and couldn’t be more thrilled.

Clover: Yeah, so thrilled that you forgot that you’re still wearing a skirt!

Jerry: Oopsie.

Alex: Is there a reason you brought us here, Jer?

Jerry: That would be to inform you several events that have happened around the globe. Including the Great Spinx of Giza being restored to its original luster, the sculptures of the presidents in Mount Rushmore being replaced with cat faces, and the rather odd occurrence to the leaning tower of Pisa.

Sam: What do you mean by odd?

Jerry: You’ll need to see that for yourselves.

And now for your gadgets.

Today, we have the launching pad platform shoes, the solid iron hair gel, the arctic blast breathmint, and the chameleon eyeshadow.

Clover: Ooh! Colorful!

Jerry: And practical. When applied, not only it blends the lids beautifully, but it allows the user to blend into whatever background they’re standing against.

Alex: Thanks, Jer!

Jer: You’re quite welcome.

Now, prepare for landing!

Alex: Whoa! Jer wasn’t kidding when he said ‘odd occurrence’! The entire tower’s covered in carpet! Just like a giant cat tower!

Sam: Let’s go in for a closer look.

Clover: Actually, I’m kind of enjoying the view right here, Sam.

Alex: Yeah, and you would learn how to say ‘hunk-a-lucious’ in Italian.

Sam: Nope, but I know how to say goodbye as in ‘arrivederci hot security guard, hello chameleon eye shadow’.

Are you guys coming?

Alex and Clover: Uh, coming.

Clover: So, what are we looking for, exactly?

Sam: I guess anything that might be considered a clue.

Alex: Ow! I thought carpets are supposed to be plush!

Clover: It’s not the carpet, Alex. It’s that weird fingernail claw thingy.

Sam: Whatever it is, we better analyze in on the double.

We’re busted girls! Run for it!

Follow me!

Clover: Wow, talk about thigh power. Guess all those WHOOP-a-lot class’s really paying off.

Sam: So, who’s in to head back home?

Clover: As much as I love Italy, I really do need to get back to my mom.

Alex: And while you do that, and Sammy goes to class, I’ll analyze the clue we found.

(Walks into the lab) Hello? Professor Dion?

Looks like the coast is clear. Now to see what this freaky clue’s all about.

No way! This claw include both human and cat DNA. How was that even possible?

I better tell Sam and Clover right away.

Villain: Who are Sam and Clover? And what are you telling them?

Alex: Huh! Professor Dion! Sam and Clover are my friends and I need to tell them that, um, I’m working at the lab today so I can’t join them for a fro-yo.

Villain: Hmm……

Alex: Um, did you just come from lunch? ‘Cause you seem to have a little something on your face.

Villain: Huh! It’s, it’s nothing! Actually, Alex, I have things covered here. Why don’t you call it a day?

Alex: Okay. Well, I’ll see you later!

Villain: Yes, you will. And you’ll be more purr-fect.

(Compowder beeps)

Alex: Hello?

Clover: Girls, we have an emergency.

Sam: Uh, a mutant-er attacked the WHOOP yard again?

Clover: No, worse! My mom wants to have an early dinner in Beverly Hills. Can you believe it?

Alex: What’s so bad about that?

Clover: Duh! She’s gonna want me to talk about med-school! Which is why I need you two to help me keep up the charade.

Sam: Okay, fine.

Sam and Alex: We’ll be there.

Clover: Thanks. You two are the best.

Sam: So, did you find anything out about our cat clue?

Alex: Yeah! According to the lab’s computer, it has both human AND cat DNA.

Sam: Freaky! You better send it to Jerry. Maybe he could figure out exactly which human we’re talking about.

Girl: I’m not leaving a

Clover’s mom: So, Clover, what’s your favorite earlobe shape? Tapered, round, dangly?

Clover: Alex! Grab a seat!

Alex: Thanks, Clover. (Purrs on Sam)……hmmm……soft……(Leans on Sam)

Sam: Uh, thanks?

(Alex poured milk in her bowl and started licking.)

Sam: Alex, what are you doing?

(Alex licks Sam)

Clover: Don’t worry, mom. Alex’s just tired. Sleep effervation makes her do all sorts of outrageous things.

Clover’s mom: I remember being tired in college, but I didn’t do anything quite so…...peculiar.

Man: Hey! What’s going on here?

Alex: What was that?

Sam: I don’t know. We better check it out.

Clover: (Kisses her mom) I’ll see you back at the dorm!

Phew! That was a close one.

Thanks for acting weird and covering for me, Alex.

Alex: What do you mean acting weird?

Sam: Whoa! Did someone said weird?

Clover: Guess now we know what that scream was about. Someone trashed the Bev Hills van with yucky sand!

Alex: This isn’t sand! It’s kitty litter, just like we have at the lab.

Sam: Freaky. You think that has something to do with all the other weird events that had been happening around the world?

Mandy: Is this your idea of a lamer than lame practical joke? How dare you mess with my beloved Beverly Hills.

Clover: (Compowder beeps) Jerry?

Jerry: None other than. I’ve arrived at the convention. But I took a moment to analyze the sad news,

Turns out the human DNA belongs to a Feline Dion.

Alex: Feline Dion? That’s the professor from the cat lab I work in. I said that stamp on her lip was more than just leftovers from lunch. Must have been whiskers!

Jerry: Oh, dear. Sounds like you girls have some investigating to do. Tata! The horse’s await!

Sam: Ah! Alex! What is sticking out from the bottom your shirt?

Alex: Oh, pretty!

Clover: Pretty? Try pretty disturbing.

Sam: It’s like, it’s like you’re turning in a cat person!

Ah! It must be from picking your finger!

Clover: Oh! Get out of there, Alex!

Sam: We better head to that cat lab and get to the bottom of this.

Alex: Meow!

Sam: Shhh. Nice kitty.

Nothing looks out of the ordinary. Of course I’m not even sure what we’re looking for.

Alex: Hmm. Meow.

Clover: Maybe something like……that?

Alex: OH! What a fun room!

Clover: Yeah, if you’re a demented hundred-and-ten-pound cat. Oopsie. Sorry, Alex.

Sam: Odd. This looks like some kinda crab-genic containment unit

Clover: Uh, translation. Preferably with smaller words, please.

Sam: It’s a fancy refrigerator. The question is, what is this?

Clover: Cat DNA infused serum? That’s a weird thing to keep in the fridge.

Villain: Not if you love cats as much as I do.

Sam: Feline Dion, I take it. And I see you’ve been using the serum on yourself.

Villain: The only thing better than petting a cat is be one. And now I’ve devised a way to unite humans and cats together forever by bonding their DNA!

Clover: Did it ever occurred to you that not everyone wants to be a cat person? I mean, talk about a waxing nightmare.

Villain: She seems to be enjoying it.

Alex: Purr.

Clover and Sam: Alex?

Villain: And once I deploy the serum across the globe, everyone will understand the joy that she and I feel.

Clover: Across the globe? So you’re the one who messed with all those lame marks.

Villain: The new race of cat people will have places to play and landmarks to visit.

Off to my first target. Mali U!

Sam: We got to get out of here before Feline carries out her crazy plan!

Clover: Great idea. Only this door isn’t ing!

Sam: Alex, can you use one of your claws to pick the lock on this door

Alex: No problem.

Clover: Awesome! Good kitty!

Villain: Now to inject the cat DNA serum into the school’s water lab. In two minutes time, the sprinklers will be activated and everyone will turn into glorious cat people!

Sam: There’s Feline.

Villain: Looks like I have company. Time for a game for cat and mouse.

Clover: Whoa. Talk about a cat-tastic move. Good thing we have moves of our own.

Sam: Launching pad platform shoes, do your thing.

Alex: Awesome! You’re almost as fast as me.

Villain: That’s right, keep chasing me, and watch as my plans unfold. MEOW.


Clover: Whoa! I can’t believe she made that jump! Feline must have nine lives as a cat.

Sam: So must Alex!

Alex: Hurry up guys! She’s getting away!

Sam: Ready to launch? Let’s do it.

The sprinkler system…… So that’s how she’s gonna hit Mali U.

You guys keep after Feline while I stop her serum.


Clover: We’ll try, Sammy, as long as we figure out how to escape from this…….yarnball.

Clover: Come on, Alex. Let’s bag this cat!

Alex: We’re on your tail, Feline.

Clover: Eeew! A giant hairball! You’re so gonna pay my dry cleaning bill.

Sam: I’ve only got thirty seconds.

Villain: So, how are you liking your new cat-self, Alex?

Alex: I like it just fine, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna let you turn everyone in the world into cat people.

Villain: We’ll see about that.

Sam: AH! Oh, no.

This calls for a little extra spy power. The solid iron hair gel should do the trick.

Clover: Get her, Alex! You’re twice the cat she is!

Alex: Hey, Clover. Think you can spare an earring?

Clover: I’m glad you like them, but is this really the time to be accessorizing?

Alex: I’m not accessorizing, I’m weaponizing. Now hand it over!

(To Feline) Good kitty, follow the pendulum. Follow the pen……

Clover: Nice job, Alex! Uh oh, I got it from here. You just, relax.

Alex: Uh. (Lick)

Sam: Uh oh. This isn’t gonna be pretty. Luckily there’s nothing the arctic breath mint can’t solve.

Hmm, refreshing, too.

Mandy: Cool! A new ice sculpture! I’m sure those lame girls will mess this up, too.

Jerry: Spies! Could you use a little help?

Clover: I thought you’d never ask. This bad kitty needs a time .

Jerry: Oh my You look like one of my diguises.

Alex: Actually, I kind of like it. I was thinking that I might stay this way.

Jerry: You better come with me. We can discuss this at WHOOP.

I’ll send some agents to clean up this little campus mess.

Sam: Thanks, Jer.

Clover: Whoa gee! I totally forgot about my mom! I gotta get back to the penthouse right away!

Sam: Hey, Clover. Just think about coming clean about your real major. I promise she won’t be disappointed in you.

Clover: Hey, mom! I’m back!

Oh, don’t pay any attention to that. Sketching’s just a silly hobby, unlike earlobe surgery, which is like my total passion. In fact, when I remembered I had a test tomorrow on lobe shapes I read it on the library to study up!

Clover’s mom: You don’t say.

Clover: Ok, fine. You caught me. I’m not really studying to be a doctor. I’m studying to be a fashion designer. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but, I so don’t wanna disappoint you. Can you ever forgive me?

Clover’s mom: Forgive you? Sweetie, I’m thrilled that you’ve found your passion. And even if you love hemlines more than earlobes, I still love you, of course. And remember, whatever you have going on in your life, you can always share it with me.

Clover: Thanks, mom. You’re the best.

Clover’s mom: So, what do you say to design me a new pair of hospital scrubs?

Clover: Oh, I’d love to!

"Baddies on a Blimp"

(Sirens ringing)

Jerry: Aha! The prisoners have arrived. Which means we’re ready to test WOOHP’s latest transport prototype.

Blaine: You got it, Jer. And if anything goes wrong, I’ll be there to handle it.

—Girls Penthouse suite 8:35A.M.—

Clover: Ah! This is so hard! How am I suppose to decide who to re-date?

Alex: Uh, did you just say ‘re-date’?

Clover: Tots! I’m going back through all my ex-es to see if there’s anyone worth reconsidering.

Sammy: I don’t know, Clover, revisiting the past is never a good idea.

Clover: But what if I let Mr. Perfect slipped through my fingers? Someone like…Bruce?

Sammy: Um, the same Bruce from two years ago who brought you a pizza instead of flowers on your first date?

Clover: Oh, puh-lease, everyone makes mistakes,  Sammy.

(Clover calls Bruce on a face chat)

Bruce: Clover, is that you?

Clover: YES! Yes, it is, totally me. So like, I was thinking it’s been a while that we really should go to a movie or something.

Bruce: I wish I could, but I’m meeting with the board of directors in my video game company this morning and, this afternoon my limo’s picking me up.

Clover: Board directors? A limo?

Bruce: Funny. You breaking up with me was actually the best thing that had ever happened to me. I really started getting my act together. So, thanks, Clover!

(Bruce hangs up)

Alex: Ouch! That’s gotta hurt.

Clover: Are you kidding? This is great! Now I just gotta catch one of my ex-es before he has it big! Hehehehe…

(The spies are sucked away under a commode beside their beds)

Alex: Have you guys noticed Jerry’s office looks way bigger?

(A blimp rises from a huge garage)

Sammy: Speaking of bigger, what kind of mission needs a blimp?

(Jerry enters the scene via a zip line)

Jerry: Well, what do you think, ladies?

Clover: I think we’re in for a veeerry slooow speed day which, FYI, totally cuts into my re-dating schedule.

Jerry: The WOOHP blimp is anything but slow, Clover. You should arrive in WOOHP Island in no time.

Sammy: WOOHP Island? As in the containment facility for the totally baddest of baddies?

Jerry: That’s the one. Now you’ll be transporting several highly dangerous criminals, but I assure you, it will be completely routine.

Clover: Well, what about the fact that none of us knows how to fly one. Hello?

Jerry: You won’t have to. Thanks to the latest in WOOHP technology, the blimp flies itself. And now for a few gadgets just in case.

(The sofa on which the spies sit begins to shake, making them leave their seats, and reveals the gadgets under its cushion)

Jerry: Today, you’ll have three laser lipsticks. The wrist watch shrink-a-nator, some suction-cup- bottom go-go boots, the diamond ring mounted 3D projector, and finally a few highly concentrated onion powder grenade[s] (sic).

Tata! (Jerry passes the gadgets to the spies) Now, off you go! (The spies are once again sucked into the blimp)

Clover: Wow! Who knew a dirigible could be so chic?

Alex: Yeah! This chair is like sitting on a giant marshmallow.

Blimp console: Welcome aboard the WOOHP blimp. We offer a wide variety of juices, smoothies, and healthy snacks, as well as a selection of influx fashion magazines from around the globe.

Clover: Okay, we have totally got to get more blimp missions!

Sammy: Speaking of missions, we should check to see if the prisoners are…

Blimp console: Please be secured and accounted for…Arrival at WOOHP Island will be in 56 minutes

Now sit back and enjoy your ride.

Clover: Awesome! This gives me the perfect chance to reconnect with my next ex, Jason. (Calls Jason)

Hi, Jason! Guess who?

Jason: Um, I’m not sure.

Clover: Duh, it’s Clover, from yogarobics class.

Jason: Clover, I, uh yeah, I don’t…

Clover: You know, Clover, the killer downward dog.

Jason: Oh yeah, you’re that way cute brunette, right?

Clover: Brunette? As if! I’m a totally natural blonde!

Okay. Maybe you guys are right about looking up ex-es. Time to just chill. 

(Suddenly, a bolt of lightning is struck)

Sammy: Whoa! What was that?

Blimp console: We have encountered unexpected turbulence. Please remain in your seats.

Alex: Don’t worry, I’ll let Jer know what’s happening. Jer, it’s Alex. Can you hear me? The situation is gnarly. I repeat, ‘gnarly’!

Jerry: Sorry, Alex, you’re breaking up.  Did you say anything about ‘barley’?

Alex: Ugh, never mind. 

Sammy: So much with the blimp flying itself, spies. We gotta take over. With the little help from our lipstick lasers.

Clover: Thinking, Sam. I sure hope this thing comes which an instruction booklet. What do all these stupid lights mean anyway?

Sammy: They don’t mean anything now. The power’s out of the ship. We’ll have to do this manually. 

(Together, spies rock the center stick on the blimp console)

Blimp console: Autopilot reengaged. Please sit back and enjoy your ride.

Alex: Enjoy your ride? Okay, I don’t care if that is a computer. It is way too mellow.

(Clover sees a few red squares moving around the monitor)

Clover: Girls, we’ve got a problem. 

Blimp console: We are now experiencing a security breach alert. It is my pleasure to inform you that the prisoner containment pods are opening. 

Alex: Uh oh! This can’t be good!

(The prisoners are released from their prison capsules)

Yves Mont Blanc: Well, well, if it isn’t the Nit Wit of Nails.

Manny Wong: Yves Mont Blanc, still overwhelming your enemies with the stink from your shoes?

Violet Vanderfleet: Knock it off, you two, unless you’d rather fight each other than take this opportunity to make our escape.

Clover: I knew agreeing to transport baddies was a bad idea. Just always ends [in](sic) a disaster.

Sammy: It’s okay. I’ve got the security camera in the prisoner hold up again. Let’s see what we’re dealing with.

Alex: Where’d they go?

Sammy: I don’t know. But it looks like the only way out of the hall is through a hatch in the ceiling that leads to that room over there.

(The spies go down a manhole to make further investigation)

Sammy: Phew! There’s still…  (All of a sudden, fingernails pierce through the wall in front of Sammy) Woooo!

Alex: It’s Mani-Wang!

Sammy: Run!

Clover: Oh, great, Yves Mont Blanc is here, too. How many baddies are we dealing with?

Violet Vanderfleet: That would be three.

Sammy: You’re Violet Vanderfleet, that totally freaky florist!

Violet Vanderfleet: That’s right! And I have a special delivery, just for you! (Releases a giant, ferocious venus fly trap) 

Mani-Wang: Teamwork! I never thought much of it before, but, here we are.

Yves Mont Blanc: Thank you my (razor talent?) friend. Just (goes?) to show if we all combine our powers, the world is ours!

Violet Vanderfleet: Glad you feel that way, because my heart was once broken I want to cause a worldwide allergy to love attack with my sneezing peonies.

Mani-Wang: Interesting! But I have a better idea. We paint everyone’s nails with my super growing nail accelerat[or](sic). Their nails will grow so long and heavy, they’ll no longer be able to use their hands or feet! Hahaha!

Yves Mont Blanc: I’ve got two words for you. (Loefflers?) are doomed! My signature slip-ons will tighten painfully on their feet and be impossible to take off, forcing everyone who ever dared make fun of my shoe designs to never be able to take them off!

Clover: Ew, fitting designer shoes? That’s like the cruelest idea ever!

Blimp console: WOOHP Island estimated time of arrival: 30 minutes.

Violet Vanderfleet: WOOHP Island eh? Maybe we’ll be able to implement all of our plans. 

Don’t you see? WOOHP Island is packed with other baddies. If we release them, WOOHP will be so busy capturing them all, then we’ll be free to have our revenge on the world!

Sammy: This is majorly bad! We’ve gotta do something!

Alex: Say, anyone know what time it is?

Clover: Time for us to get digested by a giant daffodil?

Alex: Nope, it’s time to get small! Wristwatch shrink-a-nator, do your thing!

Clover: Ooh, I’ve always wanted to be a size negative fifteen!

Sammy: Come on, this way.

Alex: Hey, watch where you’re stepping, you almost…(Realizing that it’s the villains that almost stepped on them) Oopsie…

Violet Vanderfleet: Oh, how cute! Get ‘em!

Clover: No worries, girls. I’ve dealt with this evil shoe villain before. (Pushes a button on Yves’s boots to extend their heels, causing Yves to lose his balance)

Alex: Nice work, Clover!

Violet Vanderfleet: You two, go find them. I’ll work on the WOOHP prison release codes and steer this tub!

(The spies break through a vent and turned back into their normal size)

Sammy: Okay, we have less than thirty minutes to take back control of this blimp.

Alex: It’s them!

(The spies cling onto the ceiling with their go-go boots)

Clover: (Projects the spies’ illusion to the ground) Looking for someone, losers?

Mani-Wang: Time to slice and dice! (Shoots a bunch of pointy nails)

(The nail attack appears to be futile, so Yves casts a net to capture the illusion)

Yves Mont Blanc: They’re getting away! Cut me out of this net, you idiot!

Alex: Good thinking, Clover! That should hold them for a while.

Sammy: Meanwhile, this is the safe place to come up with a plan to take out Violet.

Clover: (Hair got puffy with a shot of steam) Safe? Maybe from the world of good hair days.

(Blaine attempts to attack the spies, not recognizing their identity)

Blaine: Sorry girls, I thought you were the escaped prisoners. 

Sammy: But, what are you even doing here?

Blaine: Jerry asked me hide out in the blimp. You know, in case of an emergency.

Alex: Check up one for the boss man! A good idea for once.

Blaine: Hey there, Clover! It’s been a while. You’re looking, hmm, interesting these days.

Clover: Why, thanks, Blaine. You look interesting, too.

Alex: Ugh, another ex.

(The blimp tilts from on way to the another. Clover unexpectedly leans on Blaine) 

Clover: Uh, oopsie, my bad.

Blimp console: WOOHP Island, estimated time of arrival: 15 minutes.

Alex: Mani, Yves, and Violet are going to release all the prisoners! If we don’t stop them, it’s a bad day for the world!

Blaine: If I can get to the blimp central computer, I think I can overwrite the navigation system.

Sammy: Okay, that’ll buy us some time to get back to the control room and stop them from hacking the  prisoner lock-down system on the island.

Clover: We should split into teams. I’ll go with Blaine.

Sammy: Come on, Alex, let’s go give the baddies some of our goodies.

Yves Mont Blanc: Uh, we leave you alone for five minutes, and you did this?  

Violet Vanderfleet: Relax, Monsieur Leboot. They’re just flowers.

(Mani is startled by the huge venus flytrap)

Except that one. It can smell your fear. Hahahaha!

What are you doing back here without those pests?

Yves and Mani: (Speaks at the same time) He let them get away. 

Violet Vanderfleet: Ugh! I have potting soil that’s smarter than you two. It’s fools like you that give criminals a bad name!

Blimp console: WOOHP Island, estimated time of arrival: 10 minutes.

Violet Vanderfleet: No matter. Those girls won’t be of any concern soon. With the prisoners freed from their cells, we’ll be able to swoop in and gather them all. My assistants have just about cracked the code of the prison’s security system.

Yes, green! Is there any more delicious color?  The time has come to let our plan bloom!

Clover: Either this is it, or we’re in the biggest tanning booth ever.

Blaine: My portable overwrite-anything build folder is just what I need.

Clover: Wow, Blaine. You make something that would normally seem nerdy so totally cool.

Blaine: That’s what good agents like us do. 

Get ready, ‘cause you might feel a little more bumpier.

Sammy: Ready for operation ‘Cry Me a River’?

Blaine: Yes!

Yvest Blanc: Sacre bleu, my eyes! 

Violet Vanderfleet: You cry-babies. Don’t just sit there. Do something!

Ugh! Why isn’t this stupid blimp doing what I tell it to do?

Sammy: I guess Clover and Blaine must’ve gotten to the blimp’s computer.

Looks like your little mutiny is about to be over.

Violet Vanderfleet: Not if I have anything to say about it.

Blaine: Whoever’s at the control isn’t giving up without a fight.

Clover: (Picks up a wire) Here, this one should do it

Blaine: Um, it should? Why? 

Clover: Red’s always been my lucky color. Like my uniform!

Blaine: Nice one, Clover!

Violet Vanderfleet: You, ugh, stupid, ugh, bag of hot air!

Blimp console: WOOHP Island, estimated time of arrival: 3 minutes.

Alex: Hey, easy does it there, cowboy!

(Alex is tossed out of the window) Oh, no! Sammy, help! I can’t get to my bungee belt.

Sammy: Hang on, Alex! I’m coming!

(Mani shoots some finger nails at Sammy) Dude, real smart, throwing super pointy things inside a giant balloon!

(Alex slips) Gotcha!

Okay, get ready. (Sammy swings Alex to the side)

Yves Mont Blanc: Shoo at the fly, or should I say, shoe? 

Alex: I’ve got you, Sammy!

Sammy: Phew, at least this thing’s flying steady. Maybe now Blaine and Clover have gotten control.

(Calls Clover) Clover, are you there? 

Clover: Uh, hey guys, what’s up?

Nav(?)(nAHv, nAHb) this blimp, and it needs to be now! Take her up!

Violet Vanderfleet: (Violet crawls toward the girls along with her huge venus flytrap) I hope you guys like autumn, because it’s time to fall.

Sammy: Okay, slight change of plans. You know how you got the blimp to stop shaking? That was awesome. Now make it shake!

Clover: I’m on it.

Violet Vanderfleet: Game over, girls! Time for us to pick up our criminal friends and show you how it feels to be locked up.

Alex: Um, totally great plan Sam, except for a little thing called gravity. We’re going to fall, too.

Violet Vanderfleet: Eat, orchid!

Sammy: Need a little thing called the cable bungee belt.

(The girls dump the villains into WOOHP Island)

Alex: So much for that criminal cargo.

Sammy: Guys, you can quit the shaking now. We did it!

Blaine: We did it, that was amazing!

Clover: Wow, we always did make quite a good team.

Blaine; Punch it in, Team WOOHP. Let’s head topside.

Sammy: That may not have been exactly the way it was drawn up, but we can tell Jerry we delivered the villains to WOOHP Island. 

Alex: But let’s not tell him the part where all the prisoners on the island were freed and we had to put them back in their cells 

Clover: So, Blaine, I guess this means, you know, you and me, the hottest two items at WOOHP, together once again?

Blaine: You’re really great, Clover, but here’s the thing. I’m done dating girls from L.A. The last one, Mandy, was just so high-maintenance.

Clover: You dated Mandy?

(Blaine is picked up by a helicopter)

Blaine: Good job on the mission support.

Clover: I can’t believe Mandy ruined Blaine for me.

Alex: It’ll be okay, Clover.

Sammy: Maybe it’s a sign to take a break from dating ex-es.

Clover: Ugh, you’re probably right. Okay, break’s over.

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